More to Hold on to
by blondie81818
Summary: Hermione Granger reflects on what her and Ron have been through. Warning: May need tissues. Reviews would be nice, I thrive on feedback. ]


There she sat, sitting on a bench, her head lowered.

Hermione Granger: Bookworm, former Head Girl, and Fiancée.

Yes it was true, Hermione Granger was engaged to none other then Ronald Weasley. Sadly, it would stay that way forever. They were best friends, lovers, and they were supposed to be spouses. Why did life have to be so cruel? It was completely unfair, he had promised to be there for her forever. A tear dropped from her left eye as she lowered her head to look downwards. She looked at the letter again,

_Miss Granger, _

_We regret to inform you that your fiancé, Ronald Bilius Weasley, has been…_

That was as far as she could get, for she was starting to cry a little harder, and she didn't want to ruin the impeccable handwriting on the letter. There she goes again, thinking about totally irrelevant things when she should be bawling over her husband; no, fiancé. There were so many things awaiting them in life, a wedding, children, a house, and so much more she didn't feel like going into. She just knew she couldn't give up hope, but it was pointless to do so. There was no way he was coming back, but something just wouldn't let her believe that. This couldn't be a side effect of what she was dealing with, it was too unreal, and she was so grounded. She wiped excess tears from her eyes, and read the writing for what seemed like the twelfth-hundredth time. Ronald Weasley.

"You know," she started while tracing the lettering on the marble. "You always had a habit of making me cry….Ronald." She chuckled and added with a shaky voice. "You were always near me, for better, or worse, and I…I just don't... I just don't know how I can cry so bloody hard after all the times you've contributed to the action. Good Merlin Ronald!" She ran a shaky hand through her knotted hair; it hadn't been brushed in days. She stood up at clenched her fists at her sides, "Look at me! I haven't left this spot for three days... THREE DAYS RONALD! Do you see how you've hurt me now? If you loved me so bloody much like you always said, why did you leave me? You said that you'd be near me, that you'd be near me, ALWAYS!" She paused for a minute; she was getting a little too loud. "You know, I don't know why I'm so surprised, I mean, I shouldn't have expected any less from you! You never could keep your promises!" Thoughts of the past floated through her mind, and she said them out loud, seemingly mimicking his voice.

_"I'm so sorry 'Mione, I promise, I'll never hurt you again..."_

_"Yes, Lavender was just to make you jealous, I promise..."_

_"I promise I'll leave work early today 'Mione…" _Her lips formed a smirk and she continued,

_"If you'll marry me, I'll promise to love you and take care of you forever…"_

_"'Mione, I'll make sure I have you near me, always…" _She hiccupped a little, and half-choked, half-screamed.

_"Hermione Granger, I'll always love you, only you, and that's… a… promise!"_

There were pauses between the last few words, for she was unable to talk coherently at the moment She sat there for a moment, silently reflecting on more memories that she was unable to say out loud.She was so upset, she did the only thing she could do; scream. She didn't care if people could hear her, but she just need to scream, loudly.

"RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY… I HATE YOU! I NEVER SHOULD'VE FOLLOWED YOU AND HARRY ON THOSE ADVENTURES IN FIRST YEAR! IF I JUST WOULD'VE KEPT TO MYSELF OR BEEN FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE MORE SENSIBLE LIKE NEVILLE, NONE OF THIS…" She stopped for a moment to swallow and it was this moment that she started bawling out tears. "None of this would've ever happened." She said quietly. "Merlin, I love you Ronald, and you know that. You've got to know that. Sure I've said it and I've always meant it, but now it's different… everything's just different now. It's going to be so hard to live without you, if you….if you…" but she couldn't bring herself to finish the thought.

"You've hurt me once again Ronald, but I know that you did the right thing. I'm not as strong as you, you don't have the emotional range of a teaspoon…I do. I try to be strong, but I just end up keeping everything bottled up inside…and you, you're brave enough to let it all out, even if it comes out wrong. I admire you so much Ronald…Ron. I know you hate it when I call you by your full name, sorry, I forgot for a moment that I…" she stopped speaking abruptly and swallowed her tears again, "that I had _promised _not to say it unless I was really… mad." She squealed the last word as tears started to fall again and she was furious, she had been doing so well keeping it all in, she was even talking like nothing had happened. She ruffled her hair once more, just like he used to do back in their school days, and took a seat again on the bench.

She pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them to her. She rested her head to her knees and silently started to sob, only letting out a few gasps for air, and cries every now and then. This was how she had spent the last three nights, crying herself to sleep with her head in her knees. This time however, was different; she finally had the courage to reach for his hand, something she hadn't done since the night she had brought him here, to St. Mungo's. She held it in both of hers, stroking it lightly. It was cold and pale, unlike she had even seen before, and she had seen him injured many times. She had stopped crying, but her eyes were still glazed over with tears. She traced the creases of his palm, and compared her hand to his, looking at her ring as she did so.

This was just so unbelievable. everything had been going perfectly, Voldemort was gone, Harry and Ginny were married with two children, and Ron had just only proposed three weeks ago. They were supposed to get married next March, a spring wedding. Maybe it really wasn't meant to be, the fates certainly had been working against them. Honestly, four years to realize their feelings, then three more to put them into action, and then another two to propose. They certainly had taken their sweet time now hadn't they? They could've had months, years even, but they were both to stubborn and ignorant to do anything about it. She chuckled slightly and stroked his hand some more.

"Hermione, you really should leave you know, this isn't good for you." A voice said from the doorway. She didn't look away from his hand when she responded defeated for the first time so far,

"I know Harry, you're right I suppose. Just give me a minute and I'll go.""Thanks Hermione, I know this is hard on you, but there's nothing else you can do right now. He'd say the same thing if I was in his position, you know that." She didn't say anything, but she gave him a small smile and a nod to show him she approved of his opinion. He returned the smile even though she wasn't looking at him, and said, "I'll check back in on you in a minute." And shut the door quietly.

Still looking at his hand, she shed a few more tears and contemplated what she should say before she left, he couldn't hear her, and he couldn't feel what she was feeling, but still, she had hope. To make things easier on herself, she tried to put all the thoughts that were on her mind in one simple sentence. She gave his hand a light kiss, glanced once more at her ring and whispered,

"I do." She gave a weak smile, placed his hand back beside his limp body and walked to the other side of the room to meet Harry.

"You ready?" He asked her when the door was opened once again, and she gave him a slight nod and said,

"Yeah, I'm ready." He smiled softly and pulled her into a tight embrace, he truly was proud of her, Ron would be proud if he knew how strong she was being. As she walked out of the room, she turned back to have one last look at him. She could've sworn she saw him give a slight smile, and she blinked to make sure that what she was seeing was real, but when she opened her eyes again, his face was pale and dead once more. However, her smile became stronger and she knew that maybe, just maybe there was more to hold on to than she thought.


End file.
